


a mouthful of lines that you’ll soon forget

by electrahartley



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, a poem fitz wrote abt his feelings gets in the school publication, hijinks ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24654403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrahartley/pseuds/electrahartley
Summary: “YOU SUBMITTED MY POEM TO PENIS MIGHTIER?! MY VERY PRIVATE POEM WITH MY VERY PRIVATE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS?!”“It’s Pen Is Mightier! But yes! I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know. I thought you would like to have people fawn over your work.”“Well, Rainer, you know, normally, I do. But not about this particular thing!”During this whole conversation, the Firbolg had been silently rereading Fitzroy’s poem.“...Who give a shit,” he finally spoke up.
Relationships: Argo Keene & Rainer, Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Master Firbolg & Argo Keene & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Master Firbolg & Rainer & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt
Comments: 26
Kudos: 221





	a mouthful of lines that you’ll soon forget

**Author's Note:**

> THROWS THIS AT YOU AND DISAPPEARS INTO MIST
> 
> loosely based off of a concept from my friend rachel’s legends of tomorrow college au
> 
> the ending seems rushed because it was rushed because i could feel myself losing inspiration to write and i wanted to make sure i finished this before i lost any motivation to write again until the next blood moon

“I,” Fitzroy announced, “am planning my funeral.” 

Rainer clapped excitedly.

“Can I help? Is that why you told me to come over? I can summon some dead squirrels to do a sad interpretive dance for everyone!”

“Thank you for asking! No, you may not.”

“What,” the Firbolg said, “are you talking about?”

“Good question, my dear friend! I am referring to the fact that when I woke up this morning, THIS!” Fitzroy slammed a copy of the school’s publication down on the table, and pointed to an open page. “This was published without my knowing!” 

The Firbolg squinted at the words.

“What is… this?”

“This! May as well be my obituary,” Fitzroy exclaimed, falling dramatically back on a chair and placing the back of his hand to his forehead as if he were going to faint. “My life is over! Again! And I was just getting used to my life here!”

“Fitzroy, what…?” Rainer said, pursing her lips as she read the page. “Why wouldn’t you want this published? I think it’s very sweet.”

Fitzroy dropped his hand to his side just to glare at her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No…? I just, well, I think it’s a lovely poem. I didn’t know you had such a way with words.”

“It was supposed to be private, Rainer!” He narrowed his eyes. “Why? You wouldn’t happen to know how this got into Penis Mightier, would you?”

“It’s Pen Is Mightier. But, um. I may have found it and sent it in?”

“YOU SUBMITTED MY POEM TO PENIS MIGHTIER?! MY VERY PRIVATE POEM WITH MY VERY PRIVATE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS?!”

“It’s Pen Is Mightier! But yes! I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know. I thought you would like to have people fawn over your work.”

“Well, Rainer, you know, normally, I do. But not about this particular thing!”

During this whole conversation, the Firbolg had been silently rereading Fitzroy’s poem. 

“...Who give a shit,” he finally spoke up.

This caused both Fitzroy and Rainer to turn to him, surprised. 

“I just don’t… understand, the big deal. It is good poem. Why don’t you want published in Penis Mightier?”

“Damn it, Fitzroy! Now he’s saying it, too!” Rainer said.

“Everyone calls it that! I didn’t start that! And anyway, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. I wrote this… about someone. Here. At the school.”

Rainer gasped and clasped her hands together.

“Fitzroy! You have a crush on someone here?! Oh my gosh! Who is it? Tell me. _Tell me._ ”

“What is this, grade school?” Fitzroy huffed and crossed his arms. “It’s none of your business.”

“Don’t all schools have grade?” The Firbolg asked.

“Yes. Well, but, he meant like, grade school. Which is what like, little kids go to,” Rainer said.

“Ah. I see. Thank you, Rainer.”

“You’re welcome, Master Firbolg! By the way, I really like your shirt today! It goes really well with your fur!”

“Okay, can we direct our attention back to my crisis here, please? Pretty please?” Fitzroy said.

“I don’t know what you want us to do, Fitz. It’s kind of out of our hands now.”

“We could… burn the copies,” the Firbolg said.

“Let’s not do that!” Rainer said.

“Too late, I’m already doing it! Firby, where is my lighter?” 

“Right here,” the Firbolg replied, and handed him the lighter by Argo’s weed stash. 

“No, the other one,” Fitzroy said.

“Ah. Here you go,” he said, and gave him the one next to Fitzroy’s weed stash. 

“Thank you! And now onward, we go! To burn all copies we see of Penis Mightier!” Fitzroy exclaimed, as if he were giving a rallying pep talk, and propped one foot up on his chair while holding the lighter up in the air with the flame drawn. The sprinkler system turned on, and Fitzroy started quietly crying, still in the same position.

* * *

**Hey Rainer can we talk?**

Rainer looked down at her book of farspeech and furrowed her eyebrows.

_sure argo, what’s up? :0_

**Is Fitzroy mad at me? :( He hasn’t spoken to me at all today. I don’t know if you talked to him or not. I would ask Firby but I don’t actually know where he is either…**

Rainer sighed and put her head in her hands.

_i can’t say a whole lot about it but no he’s not mad at you_

_please don’t ask me what i mean by that because despite being a villain i am not very good at lying to my friends Dx you’re going to have to talk to him about it_

**Okay… If u say so. Thx :)**

“Well, that did nothing to quell my anxiety,” Argo said, to an empty room. He put his book down and fell back on his bed.

He had been in class whenever, according to Rainer, there had been a cooking accident that caused the sprinkler system to go off. The whole room was still soaked, but he didn’t mind. If anything, it helped it feel more homey.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Well. At least Fitz wasn’t mad at him.

That was something of a start.

He really wasn’t the biggest fan of confrontation though. He wondered, briefly, if he could just like. Write him a note, or something. A note saying, “Are you mad at me?” and it would have two options, for yes and no.

That’s stupid. Okay. He already knows that he isn’t mad at him, but his anxiety keeps coming back to that idea.

He opened his eyes again, just as the door opened for the Firbolg to enter the room. Argo sat up a little.

“Hey, big guy!”

The Firbolg stopped suddenly and looked at Argo like a deer in headlights. 

“Ah… Hello. Argo. I. Am not supposed to speak to you,” he said.

Argo frowned.

“What? Why not?”

“I… Fitzroy. Told me to. I am sorry. I must go.”

“But you just got here!” Argo exclaimed.

“I had to grab lighter!”

“But that’s my lighter!”

“It is for noble cause! We are burning Penis Mightier! Goodbye, Argo!” The Firbolg said, and swiftly left the room with Argo’s lighter.

“What the fuck is Penis Mightier?!” Argo said, once again to an empty room.

* * *

“Oh, Master Firbolg, I am so glad you’re back,” Rainer said.

”Fitzroy…” The Firbolg said. “Talk to Argo.”

“Absolutely not. Not until every single copy of Penis Mightier is burned to ash,” he replied, lighting one on fire. 

“Pen Is Mightier. Fitzroy. Master Firbolg is right. Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? I publish my poems all the time, but I don’t think anyone actually reads the publication,” Rainer said. 

“Nobody reads your poems because they’re all about death and dying.” A beat. “Sorry, that was mean. I like your poems. Are you going to help me burn these or not?” 

“No.”

“Okay, well, good, because I don’t think we have another lighter anyway.” 

* * *

“Gary, help!” Argo said, and the gargoyle in their room came to life.

“You rang?”

“Yes. Do you know what Penis Mightier is?”

“Sounds like some kinda sex performance pill to me.”

“Yeah, I dunno. Firby said uh, that he and Fitz were burning copies of it or something?”

“Ohhh, you mean Pen Is Mightier! Yeah, that’s the nickname the kids around here have for the school publication. It’s mostly a newspaper but they got like, a section for students to submit poems and art and shit too.” “Okay. That makes a little more sense. Do you, uh, know why they’re burning it?”

“Fitzroy got a poem published in it or somethin’, I think. Not a hundred percent sure on that one. He put earplugs on me so I couldn’t make out too much of what they were sayin’.” 

“Who all was talking about it?”

“Just him, the Firbolg, and uh… Rainer.”

“Huh… Right. Thanks, Gary.” 

“No problem, kid! Good luck!”

And the gargoyle went lifeless.

* * *

“Alright, team! So! We’ve successfully burned… at least five of these publications,” Fitzroy said. “Possibly more. I hope.” 

The Firbolg nods his head. Rainer pinches the bridge of her nose.

“You’re going to start a fire,” she said.

“The only fire here is my burning passion to destroy my poetry,” he replied.

“And burning passion for Argo,” the Firbolg added.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

“I was just quoting poem.”

“Nobody should be quoting it! No one! Not a single soul!”

“I dunno, I kinda liked it,” came a forth voice.

Fitzroy’s jaw dropped comically, before he straightened up and flung the lighter he was holding out of his hands and into a nearby bush. As if the still on fire pile of publications wasn’t in the fire pit next to him.

“Argo! What are you doing here?!” Fitzroy said.

“I just wanted to give you some feedback about your poetry. I, uh. I think it was pretty nice.”

“We should go,” Rainer said, and grabbed the Firbolg’s arm to steer him off.

“Look, Argo… You. Weren’t supposed to see that. It was just. Kinda me venting my feelings,” Fitzroy said, uncharacteristically sheepish.

“About me?”

“I suppose the line, ‘You came from the sea and saw all the best in me,’ kinda gave it away?”

Argo chuckled.

“Just a little. I’m flattered, by the way. I didn’t know you had such a way with words.”

“That’s what Rainer said.”

“Well, she’s right. You’re very talented, Fitz… And uh…. Handsome. And funny. And charismatic, even without your cloak. In fact, I was pretty charmed by you before you even ever put that on.”

“I will cry,” Fitzroy said, “I will. For the second time today.”

“Why the first time?”

“Set the sprinklers off with my weed lighter.”

Argo let loose a full body laugh that time, and stepped closer to Fitz, tentatively placing his arms at his waist.

“Can I… Uh. God. Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t know, _can_ you?” Fitzroy replied, with a grin on his face.

“I’m trying to be romantic,” Argo said. “You’re killing the romantic moment.”

Fitzroy didn’t reply, just cupped his face in his hands and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> yell w me on tumblr @ taakoshell !


End file.
